My Husband Yells At Me


Last updated on December 4th, 2022 at 02:14 pm

Why Do Some Men Yell At Their Wives

Constant yelling is a form of abuse. It’s a way to control and intimidate someone. And it’s definitely not a healthy way to communicate.

If you’re in a relationship with a man who yells at you, it’s important to understand why he’s doing it. Only then can you decide how to deal with it and the way forward in the relationship.

Reasons Why Your Husband Might Be Yelling At You

There are a few possible reasons why your husband might be constantly yelling at you and knowing them is the first step towards solving the problem.

1. He’s trying to control you.

Some men use yelling as a way to control and manipulate their wives. They might do it to assert their authority or to make you feel scared and powerless.

If your husband is constantly yelling at you, it’s important to understand that it’s a form of abuse. You don’t deserve to be treated this way.

2. He’s feeling overwhelmed.

Sometimes, men yell because they’re feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. They might be facing a lot of stress at work or in their personal lives. And they might take it out on you because you’re an easy target.

If he is yelling at you because of work or external issues its important to note that this should never be an excuse for his behavior. It’s still not ok to yell at you and he needs to learn how to deal with his stress in a healthier way.

3. He has unresolved anger issues.

Some men have difficulty controlling their anger. They might get angry over small things or lash out for no reason. If your husband has unresolved anger issues, it’s important to get him help.

Childhood Experiences And Trauma

A Swing At A Children’s Playground. Image by Ulrike Mai from Pixabay

We as humans carry with us past experiences and trauma. It is not unusual for someone who was raised in a home where yelling and aggression were common to act out in the same way. This is not an excuse for abusive behavior, but it is a explanation. If your husband was raised in a home where yelling was the norm, he may not even realize that it’s a problem.


sad woman
A Sad Woman. Photo by M. on Unsplash

Humans just like other animals develop behavior patterns based on the response they get. If your husband yells at you and you respond by crying, getting emotional or begging him to stop, he has learned that this gets him the response he wants. He may not even be consciously aware that he is doing it, but he has learned that this is a way to get you to do what he wants.

In order to change this pattern of behavior, you need to do something different. The next time your husband starts to yell at you, try to remain calm. Don’t cry or beg him to stop. Show him that you’re not going to respond the way he wants you to.

It’s important to remember that you can’t change your husband. Only he can decide to change his own behavior. But you can change the way you respond to him. And that might be enough to encourage him to change his own behavior.

How To Get Your Husband To Stop Yelling At You

Once you understand why your husband has the habit of yelling at you then you must take actions that discourage it.

Most women assume that the yelling is a reaction to what they are or are not doing. In other words that its their fault.

Once you understand the possible reasons why he yells at you, then you need to change that behavior and the first step is to communicate with him.


Communication is a skill that must be learnt and developed in a relationship if the relationship is going to grow. If your husband is constantly yelling, he may not be used to communicating in a different way. You will need to be patient and understand that it will take time for him to change his behavior.

The first step is to sit down with him and explain how his yelling makes you feel.

“I feel disrespected and unimportant when you yell at me. I understand that you might be feeling stressed or overwhelmed, but I need you to find a different way to communicate with me. I’m willing to work with you on this, but I need you to be willing to change.”

If you can have this conversation without getting emotional or defensive, it will go a long way in helping your husband to understand how his behavior is affecting you.

It’s also important to be clear about what you expect from him and that he understands that the behavior is not acceptable.

Remember to do this in a loving but firm way. If you come across as nagging or critical, it will only make the situation worse.

Removing The Conditioning

The final step is to remove the conditioning that has been created by his yelling. As I mentioned before, humans develop behavior patterns based on the response they get.

If your husband has been conditioned to believe that his yelling gets him the response he wants, you need to change that.

The next time he starts to yell at you, remain calm and don’t give him the reaction he’s expecting. This will take practice, but it’s important to remember that you’re not trying to change who he is, you’re only changing the way you respond to him.

And that might be enough to encourage him to change his own behavior.

Gerald Omondi
Gerald Omondi
As a writer, I have a passion for exploring a variety of topics. When I'm not putting pen to paper, I enjoy traveling and spending time with my family. As a husband and father, I understand the importance of balance and finding time for the things I love. Whether I'm delving into new subjects or spending quality time with my loved ones.


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