My Husband Refuses To Work


In a marriage, it is important for both partners to contribute towards the family in whatever way possible. When one partner refuses to work, it can cause financial, emotional, and social stress on the marriage.

The partner who is refusing to work might feel undervalued or unappreciated which can lead to a loss of self-esteem. On the other hand, the partner who is working might feel overburdened and resentful of their spouse’s lack of contribution.

It is important for couples to have a discussion about their expectations for the marriage. Are both partners expected to work, or is one spouse able to stay home and do housework? Is it possible for the non-working spouse to find another job or start a business? Is it possible for the working spouse to reduce their hours and pick up additional roles at home?

It is also important for both partners to communicate about their feelings. Talk to your husband about the situation and how it is making you feel. It may be helpful to involve a professional counselor during this conversation, as they can help provide a neutral and unbiased perspective.

Ultimately, the goal is to establish a balance in the marriage where both partners are contributing in some way. If you and your husband can come to an agreement that meets your individual needs, it will help reduce the stress on the relationship and create a healthier and more fulfilling marriage.

man doing nothing
Doing Nothing Photo by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash

Possible Reasons Why Your Husband Refuses To Work

Your husband ’s refusal to work could be caused by a number of factors.

  1. It could be due to an underlying mental health issue like depression or anxiety.
  2. It could be due to other factors such as feeling unappreciated or lacking a sense of purpose. We as human often need a sense of purpose in our lives, and if your husband does not feel as though he has one, it can cause him to refuse to work.
  3. Lack of self belief or self-esteem can also play a role in this dynamic. If your husband does not believe he is capable of anything, he may be afraid to even try getting a job and feel as though he will fail.
  4. He could be holding on to a dream he always had whose time might have passed and this could be stopping him from facing the reality of providing for the family. If this is the case, encourage him to start taking small steps towards his dream but also move towards a job even if it’s part time that will help provide financial security for the family.
  5. It could also be due to a past experience of not being able to find or keep a job.
  6. He could also be getting comfortable with the situation especially if you are the one bringing in the money.

Helping him figure out why he doesn’t want to work and how you can help him get back into the workforce is a critical part of resolving this issue.

He doesn’t have to go back to the workforce as there are other options like starting a business but it important for him to know that his contribution is valuable and required.

It might also be helpful for him to get counseling, so he can work through his feelings about work and to develop strategies for overcoming his reluctance.

Having an open and honest dialogue with your partner is the best way to come up with a solution that works for both of you.

Creating a plan that includes goals and expectations for him to get back to work will help motivate him and allow you both to move forward.


It’s understandable to feel frustrated when your husband refuses to work and it can be difficult to find a solution. It’s important to talk about your feelings and work together to come up with a plan that works for both of you otherwise this situation could only lead to you having resentment towards each other.

Gerald Omondi
Gerald Omondi
As a writer, I have a passion for exploring a variety of topics. When I'm not putting pen to paper, I enjoy traveling and spending time with my family. As a husband and father, I understand the importance of balance and finding time for the things I love. Whether I'm delving into new subjects or spending quality time with my loved ones.


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